The Barking Cat Review
Before you commit £3m to a replatform, establish whether the platform is the constraint
For the boards of UK retail and consumer businesses from £20m to £1bn, founder-led, PE-backed and listed: an independent ecommerce diagnosis that names the one binding constraint on the trade before any money is committed to fixing it.
Independent inputs, one focus
- 01 Proposition & Brand
- 02 Clarity & Usability
- 03 Persuasion & Trust
- 04 Conversion
- 05 Copy
- 06 Checkout & Payments
- 07 Commercial Performance
- 08 Competitive Context
- 09 Discovery & Search
- 10 Paid Media
- 11 Retail
- 11 lenses in, one reading out
The governing thought
One binding constraint: the single thing holding the trade back, named and evidenced.
Most leaders learn about their website from inside the building: dashboards, agency decks, and the opinion of whoever spoke last. Your customers see something else, and they vote with their baskets.
The Review reports on the experience you are actually selling, from the only side of the screen that spends money. It is deliberately light on your organisation: analytics access, a handful of conversations, two to four weeks, and a working session to land it. It does not review your operations, and it is a fixed-scope engagement. Where the evidence points to operations, that work is taken as a strategic project.
commercial lenses, one diagnosis
readiness checks behind them
weeks, light on your organisation
The method
Thirty minutes
What is happening in the business, what the Review would examine, and whether there is work worth doing. Both sides decide.
The walk
Your proposition, walked the way a customer walks it: the first search, the landing, the product page, the basket, the checkout, the parcel, the return. Alongside it, your filed accounts and your competitive context, because the site only means something against the numbers.
The lenses
Eleven commercial lenses, one diagnosis. Each lens reads the same business from a different seat, and the findings converge on a single constraint. Behind them sits the Cat’s Whiskers, the practice’s readiness framework: seven foundations and thirty-six readiness checks, built from running these businesses.
The numbers
Every finding is measured against the figures that pay the wages: traffic, conversion, order value, margin, repeat. The working is shown, starting with what a single point of conversion is worth in your business, against your filed results.
From this page
Forty findings without a hierarchy is a spreadsheet.
The binding constraint
Forty findings without a hierarchy is a spreadsheet. Every Review names the one constraint that holds the rest back and sequences everything behind it: what to fix in a fortnight, what to build in a quarter, and what not to spend on at all.
The working session
The findings are argued with your leadership team, the sequence agreed, the owners named. The written audit stays as the record.
The Review earns its keep whether or not the next step is Barking Cat. Sometimes the finding is that the work is yours to do, or belongs with someone already in the building. You get the diagnosis either way. That answer is only available from an advisor who does not earn from the build.
A specimen
Slides from a recent Review, with the client’s identity and traceable figures redacted. Every Review lands in this form: the governing thought, the constraint, the commercial anchor, and the sequence.





What the Review is not
It is not an operations review and it is not a pitch for a build. Part of the job is naming the spending that should not happen:
- the replatform the platform does not warrant,
- the rebrand the brand does not need,
- the media budget that would subsidise a leaking journey.
Sometimes the finding is that you do not need what you are being sold.
The Review is also set out for boards searching for an independent ecommerce consultant.
What happens next
Thirty minutes, no pitch. If there is work worth doing, a fixed-fee proposal in writing within two working days. Then the engagement, or a plain no.
Contact
Thirty minutes, no deck.
Tell Steve what is not moving. If there is a problem worth solving, the conversation will find it. If Barking Cat is not the right answer, you will hear that first.
steve@barkingcat.ai