The Barking Cat AI Diagnostic
The Review walks a proposition outside in, the way a customer does. The Diagnostic walks the operating model inside out, the way an operator does. It separates the AI that pays back from the snakeoil, by establishing what is actually true in the business rather than trusting the dashboard. Two to three days in the building, deliberately on-site, because the finished score comes from evidence, not a survey.
92%
of retail and CPG executives plan to increase AI budgets
6%
are capturing real enterprise-level value from it
92%: NVIDIA, State of AI in Retail and CPG 2026. 6%: McKinsey, The State of AI, November 2025.
Leaders are under pressure from every direction at the moment: AI in every vendor deck and an answer expected by the end of the quarter. Nearly everyone is spending; almost no one is winning, and the difference is organisational, not technical. There is rarely anyone in the room whose job is to separate the commercial problem from the technology being sold to solve it. That is where Steve’s job starts, with the AI question answered inside the work rather than sold beside it.
It starts with diagnosis, because that is the house rule. Sometimes the honest finding is that you do not need what you are being sold, whether the seller is a software vendor, an agency, or an integrator with a replatform in mind. That answer is only available from an advisor who does not earn from the build.
The first step is an honest conversation.
The method
01 · The AI Inventory
What the business has already bought, and whether it is integrated into a workflow, owned by someone against a commercial outcome, and actually creating value. This includes the purchases individual teams licensed that never reached a central register. These below-the-line finds are often the most revealing evidence in the whole engagement, and frequently reframe it before the scoring begins.
02 · The walk
The operating model, read across three lenses: Creation, the content, imagery, copy and studio pipeline. Agentic, the feeds, product data and machine discoverability. Process, service operations, merchandising workflow, reporting, reconciliation, and the manual work nobody has counted.
03 · The five foundations
Data, Process, People and Capability, Governance, Commercial Ownership. Each is scored Ready to Build, Contain and Prepare, or Foundations Absent. Most professionally run businesses sit at Contain and Prepare on most foundations, read honestly. That is the ordinary resting place, not a poor result, and Ready to Build is earned rather than assumed.
01
What has already been bought, and whether any of it is genuinely used.
02
Where AI is used to make things, and what that output is worth.
03
Where work has been handed to a system to run on its own.
04
The workflow as it is actually walked, not as it is documented.
01
Trusted, reachable, current enough to act on.
02
Reliable enough to be automated at all.
03
Who can operate it once it is running.
04
Who decides, and on what basis.
05
Who owns the payback, by name.
The finding
The one foundation holding the operating model back. Everything else waits behind it.
Process appears in both rows and means two different things: the workflow observed on the walk, and the reliability of that workflow once it is scored
It narrows twice. Four evidence sources into five scored foundations, five scored foundations into one binding constraint. Neither stage is skipped, and the middle is where the instrument earns its keep.
04 · The opportunity engine
Every AI opportunity the walk surfaced, named as a specific commercial move rather than a technology, then plotted for value against the effort to build it here. Each one is then tested against the foundation it depends on. Two businesses with an identical opportunity can receive opposite recommendations at this step, because their foundations differ. That is the mechanism, not an inconsistency.
05 · The binding constraint
Across the five foundations, the one whose absence blocks the most opportunity, named directly, with the alternatives rejected and the reasons given.
06 · The working session
Argued with the leadership team, the sequence agreed, the exclusions stated plainly, including where the honest answer is not a technology purchase at all. The written diagnosis remains as the record, not the event.
What the Diagnostic is not
It is not automated, and presence is the product. A remote or pre-visit read is a hypothesis layer, labelled as such throughout, never presented as a finished Diagnostic.
It is not an implementation plan, a vendor selection, or a build. The boundary of the practice is the boundary of the instrument: it diagnoses and sequences, it does not configure or supply.
How it connects
The scope and boundary note that closes every Diagnostic is not a caveat. It states what the read saw and did not see, and it is the bridge to Ongoing counsel where a sequenced plan calls for one, offered once, in the working session, never pre-sold here.
You can run the five foundations on yourself first: twenty-one checks, thirty minutes, nothing leaves your browser.
What happens next
Thirty minutes, no pitch. If there is work worth doing, a fixed-fee proposal in writing within two working days. Then the engagement, or a plain no.
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